Definitions

Adultery: The wrong people doing the right thing.
Alimony: The screw you get for the screw you got.
Atom Bomb :- An invention to end all inventions.
Boss :- Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Brassiere: A device for making mountains out of molehills
College :- A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing.
Committee :- Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to ecide that nothing can be done together.
Criminal :- A guy no different from the rest… except that he got caught.
Dictionary:- The only place where divorce comes before marriage.
Diplomat :- A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Divorce: What happens to two people who cannot stomach each other.
Doctor :- A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
Etc. :- A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Experience:- The name men give to their mistakes.
Interlude: A time between times.
Kept Woman: A woman who wears mink all day and fox all night.
Kiss: An application at headquarters for a job at base.
Kissing: Sabotage before invasion.
Marriage :- It is an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and woman gains her master’s.
Metallurgist: A man who can take one look at a platinum blonde and can tell
Miser :- A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Mistress: Something between a master and a matress.
more fun than an adult in adultery.
Mothers’s Day: Nine months after Fathers’s Day.
Nurse: Pan-handler.
Office :- A place where you can relax after your strenuous homelife.
Optimist :- A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Pansy: A man who likes his vice-versa.
Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO,instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY
Philosopher:-A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken off when dead.
Politician:- One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
Prostitute: A busy body.
Psychiatrist: A man who tries to figure out whether an infant in infancy has
Rape: Seduction without salesmanship.
Rumour :- News that travels at the speed of sound.
Smile :- A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Sob-sister: A girl who sits on your lap and makes it hard for you.
Software Engineer :- One who is paid for reading this.
Spring: When a young man’s fancy turns to what the girls have been
Tears :- The hydraulic force by which masculine power is defeated by feminine power.
thinking about all winter.
Triplets: Taking seriously what was poked at you in fun.
Twins: Womb mates who become bosom freinds.
Virgin Sheep: One who can run faster than the shepherd.
Virgin: A wisecrack.
Weakling: A girl wo means No!, but cannot say it.
whether she is virgin metal or a common ore.
Wife: A gadget you screw on the bed and it does the housework.
Yawn :- The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

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